This post is not sponsored or even acknowledged by Bad Moms the movie, and it’s literally just a coincidence that Bad Moms’ Xmas is out on DVD today 😉
Y’all, so I just saw the movie Bad Moms the other week (and yes, I realize it came out in 2016, and it’s now 2018 – back off), and I just have to say that I was not prepared to relate to it as much as I did. Not in the sense that I have some crazy PTA arch-nemesis breathing down my neck, but more in the sense that I’ve felt like a bad mom more times than I’d like to admit. Like Mila Kunis’ “Amy,” I’ve also suffered from insecurities by comparing myself to some fictitious, perfect mom I’ve made up in my head. So I’m here to set the record straight once and for all: we are all “bad moms.”
Just to be clear, I’m obviously not trying to calling us all out saying we suck at being moms. I’m merely taking a cue from the movie and making us realize that we’ve all been there. We’ve all been fed up with the societal stigmas placed on us to live up to these unrealistic “perfect mom” standards. We’ve all judged another mom by putting her on a pedestal, thinking how idealistic her life must be, when in actuality she’s suffering just the same as we are to live up to our own high expectations. We’ve all had moments, days, or even whole weeks where we place our heads in our hands, ready to throw in the towel. But then we look at those little faces, the same ones that conjure up all these unwanted emotions one minute, and realize what a beautiful disaster we’ve gotten ourselves into the next. I had one such revelation just today, which clearly inspired this insight.
I started off the week feeling down about everything – my role as a wife, mother, friend and even daughter. I finally professed to the hubs this morning that I was having a “bum week.” I’m not sure if that’s a common term or something I may have gotten from my late British dad’s idioms, but either way, it was the only way I could explain things. Just bum. So bum that I couldn’t even make a routine grocery store run today without it ending in an epic fail. I won’t get into details, but let’s just say it had nothing to do with the kids, and everything to do with some bad frozen meal I’d had for lunch. I incidentally ran out of there only getting half of what I’d come there for, and didn’t even realize a fellow mom/teacher at my son’s preschool was unloading her groceries two cars down from mine, until she professed what a super mom I was as I unloaded my basket with Charlotte strapped to me in her Ergo. I then muttered my typical self-deprecating phrase, since I’m incapable of accepting a compliment when I’m in a bad mood, and immediately felt guilty doing so as I drove out of the H-E-B parking lot. So guilty that I messaged said mom friend when I got home to tell her how bad I felt saying what I said in front of Garrett. She then said what I so desperately needed to hear: “Don’t feel bad.” Bad – there’s that word again. Then, she went on to say she was judging me for feeling bad, not for saying it. Ha, touché my friend, touché.
We then went on to have a very real and honest convo, surprisingly honest for a friend I actually haven’t spent a ton of one-on-one time with, and it truly felt like a “Bad Moms” moment. I imagined her as the “Carla” or Kathryn Hahn character in the movie, and I was “Kiki” or Kristen Bell (I’ve always considered myself a supporting actor ;)), as she pushed me to see the error in my insecure ways and that we are all just a bunch of “bad moms.” But maybe that’s just it. Maybe that’s the beauty in all of this. Maybe, just maybe, we are all actually good moms. The best moms. Moms just trying to be the best that we can be for those little weirdos. Because at the end of the day – we are the best in their eyes. The best mom, because we’re their mom.
p.s. Took these of us at the end of the day – unedited, unfiltered and unfettered…