It’s pretty common for people to say they see their mom, dad, grandma, etc. when they look at their own child. But with our son Garrett – it goes way beyond just a physical resemblance (although he definitely favors our Sicilian side 😉). When I say I see my dad when I look at him – I mean, I see his soul. I see past those warm and compassionate dark brown eyes right into the soul of a man stuck inside of a little man I call my son. The soul of a man who was also an old soul, and who left us all too soon.
But that’s just the thing – did he leave us? Do any of our loved ones who pass truly ever leave us? I like to think with each new generation, pieces of their soul are somehow transported into these new, young souls. Yet sometimes, and I don’t know why or how, some children take on more of a loved one’s soul than usual – causing everyone around them to exclaim “What an old soul.”
This happens to be the case with Garrett. Except there’s no big mystery on how he became this way – he was born on my dad’s birthday, and right then we all just knew it meant something special. I even remember my husband saying over and over to me after the whirlwind of Garrett’s delivery – “Babe, you realize he was actually born on your dad’s birthday, right?” Honestly, it took a few days for it all to sink in. But once it did – I don’t think I’ve ever been more convinced that there’s an afterlife, and our loved ones will always find ways to let us know they never truly leave us.
So when my son says things to me and I feel a sudden twinge of deja vu as if I’d heard it before – I have. And when we sit and have long conversations over his deep ponderings on life, and he communicates as if he’s had these thoughts before – he has. But when I see the confusion sometimes in his eyes as if he doesn’t know why he feels we’ve gone through this before – we have.
To some, this may sound crazy. But to others, you may have had these same feelings yourself and know exactly what I’m talking about. And while we may not know why this happens to us – I do know I’m grateful everyday I get to look at my dad in a whole new light and soul.
p.s. The verdict’s still out on Cha Cha but I’m pretty sure she has the soul of a long lost cousin who was half Tasmanian devil 😈 half Princess 👸🏻 😂